June 15, 2016 by Speakers' Spotlight
Neil Pasricha’s Quiet Path to Happiness
In 2010, Neil Pasricha became an overnight sensation when his blog 1000 Awesome Things became the international bestseller The Book of Awesome. Since then the Toronto-based former Wal-Mart executive has become the poster boy for positive thinking. His latest book, The Happiness Equation, examines how to turn life’s little slices of awesome into sustained contentment. Here, Susan Cain’s “Quiet Leadership Institute” shares some of Neil’s tips for how quiet people can find happiness, too:
Neil Pasricha is on a crusade, and his goal is to help people get happy. He has firsthand experience with the working world’s disconsolate little secret—having spent years helping people lead teams, businesses, and organizations, he realized hardly anyone was happy (including himself). And to paraphrase Dean Wormer from Animal House: frazzled, stressed, and miserable is no way to go through life, son.
His resulting book, The Happiness Equation, consolidates piles of research on how to train your brain to be happy. And yes, we can be happy from the inside out. Happiness comes as a result of conscious training (think of it as emotional CrossFit, only without any painful, pulled muscles). Happiness isn’t a destination we arrive at after everything else in life is awesome—it’s what we do to make everything else in life awesome. And once we make that internal shift, we can put our day-to-day external frustrations into perspective. Neil’s strategies are practical, effective, and (shocker) FUN as he distills the attainment of a happy life into a simple equation:
Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything.
The following excerpt presents seven straightforward techniques you can use every day to boost your happiness quotient. You can start RIGHT NOW. And honestly, you should—who doesn’t want to be happier? Oh, and if you haven’t visited Neil Pasricha’s wildly popular blog 1000awesomethings.com, check it out. At least one of his awesome things will make you smile (if you’re an introvert, probably #913).
- Three Walks
Pennsylvania State researchers reported in the Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychologythat the more physically active people are, the greater their general feelings of excitement and enthusiasm. Researcher Amanda Hyde reports, “We found that people who are more physically active have more pleasant-activated feelings than people who are less active, and we also found that people have more pleasant-activated feelings on days when they are more physically active than usual.” It doesn’t take much: Half an hour of brisk walking three times a week improves happiness. The American Psychosomatic Society published a study showing how Michael Babyak and a team of doctors found that three thirty-minute brisk walks or jogs even improve recovery from clinical depression. Yes, clinical depression. Results were stronger than [those from] studies using medication or studies using exercise and medication combined.
- The 20-Minute Replay
Writing for twenty minutes about a positive experience dramatically improves happiness. Why? Because you actually relive the experience as you’re writing it and then relive it every time you read it. Your brain sends you back. In a University of Texas study called “How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Words,” researchers Richard Slatcher and James Pennebaker had one member of a couple write about their relationship for twenty minutes three times a day. Compared to the test group, the couple was more likely to engage in intimate dialogue afterward, and the relationship was more likely to last.
- Random Acts of Kindness
Carrying out five random acts of kindness a week dramatically improves your happiness. We don’t naturally think about paying for someone’s coffee, mowing our neighbor’s lawn, or writing a thank-you note to our apartment building security guard at Christmas. But Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness, did a study asking Stanford students to perform five random acts of kindness over a week. Not surprisingly, they reported much higher happiness levels than the test group. Why? They felt good about themselves! People appreciated them. In his book Flourish, Professor Martin Seligman says that “we scientists have found that doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise we have tested.”
- A Complete Unplug
“The richest, happiest and most productive lives are characterized by the ability to fully engage in the challenge at hand, but also to disengage periodically and seek renewal,” say Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz in The Power of Full Engagement. And a Kansas State University study found that complete downtime after work helps us recharge for the next day.
- Hit Flow
Get into a groove. Be in the zone. Find your flow. However you characterize it, when you’re completely absorbed with what you’re doing, it means you’re being challenged and demonstrating skill at the same time. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes this moment as “being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.”
- 2-Minute Meditations
A research team from Massachusetts General Hospital looked at brain scans of people before and after they participated in a course on mindfulness meditation and published the results in Psychiatry Research. What happened? After the course, parts of the brain associated with compassion and self-awareness grew while parts associated with stress shrank. Studies report that meditation can “permanently rewire” your brain to raise levels of happiness.
- Five Gratitudes
If you can be happy with simple things, then it will be simple to be happy. Find a book or a journal, or start a website, and write down three to five things you’re grateful for from the past week. I wrote five a week on 1000awesomethings.com. Some people write in a notebook by their bedside. Back in 2003, researchers Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough asked groups of students to write down five gratitudes, five hassles, or five events that happened over the past week for ten straight weeks. Guess what happened? The students who wrote five gratitudes were happier and physically healthier. Charles Dickens puts this well: “Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many, not your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”
The Quiet Leadership Institute/June, 2016